Celebrity Big BOTHER... finally over

Thats not a typo...

After all the unwanted hue and cry over nothing the reality show Celebrity Big Brother aired by UK's Channel 4 finally came to an "exciting" finish. Too bad for the news channels who will now have to concentrate on other "unimportant" things... like news for instance. Ofcourse rumours have it that the Bacchan family is planning a trip to Kasi..

The show ended with the "Indian" actor (Now im a racist I presume cause I just called her Indian??) Shilpa Shetty being crowned the winner. I dont know if she was crowned or not but she sure gave the effect of being crowned Miss World or somethin like that. All for a third rate show watched by third rate people. Not to mention the third rate "celebrities" who took part in it.

I thought ours was a "We dont give a damn" country. We dont give a damn when we find hungry children on the road. We dont give a damn when half the country is dying of poverty. We dont give a damn when the poor farmers are committing suicide. We dont give a damn... Unless... Team India loses a stupid cricket match... An actor comments on pre-marital sex... Some half excuse for a human "racially" abuses a "famous" citizen of the country.. Wow! We are so morally superior than em aint we???

And then just to show how "generous" we actually are we invite the alleged "tormentor" to visit our country and experience the "healing effect". Im sure that when Goody lands in India the slime the dirt and the enraged (read jobless and wanna show up on camera) public will give her some "healing effect". All it took is one day and some silly remarks to drag a pathetic ailing show to be thrust forcefully into the limelight.

Funny thing.. The media watchdog received more protests for airing those comments than it did for airing Saddam's hanging.. Now now why would anyone care a fuck bout "some guy's" hanging right??? Atleast not as much as an Indian actor being reduced to tears on live TV im sure. Its even more funny the way that they "made up" (also on live TV) and suddenly everythng is hunky dory..

Finally in a lame effort to prove that they are not racists the Brits nominated Shetty to win the contest and take home Rs.12 crore... Yea you heard me right.. 12 fuckin Crore rupees... Hell even Mads (Madhuri) is gettin paid jus 1crore for her next movie.. The point is not whether the English are racist or not (Ofcourse they are) but just that are we any better than em??? Now that everything has died down... No matter what people say racism is here to stay.. When you dont have enough respect for your own countrymen it ll be ages before when you find respect abroad. Period!

Till next time then...

Keep rockin!

Salaam E Ishq: A Tribute to Love

Director: Nikhil Advani

Cast: SRK, Big B and Aish are not there..

Vidya Balan...... Tehzeeb Hussain Raina
John Abraham...... Ashutosh Raina
Govinda...... Raju aka Taxiwala
Shannon Esrechowitz...... Stephanie aka Dreamgirl
Priyanka Chopra...... Kkamini
Salman Khan...... Rahul
Akshaye Khanna...... Shiven Dungarpur
Ayesha Takia...... Gia Bakshi
Sohail Khan...... Ramdayal
Isha Koppikar...... Phoolwati
Anil Kapoor...... Vinay Malhotra
Juhi Chawla...... Seema Bakshi Malhotra
Anjana Sukhani...... Anjali
(You asked for it!!!)

Running Time: 6 hrs and 45 min (intermission excluded)

Rating: 0.5/5


6 stories.. 12 characters.. Sounds familiar?? This desi adaptation of Love Actually "actually" puts you to sleep.. Several times..

You cant help but admire Nikhil's guts as to how he set out to make such a movie. At the end of the gruelling 6hrs 45min you end up surprised... that you're still alive and that the movie is actually over.. Lets take a look at the six stories (in no particular order)

Story 1: (Priyanka Chopra - Salman Khan)

Kamini is the number 1 item girl in Bollywood but dreams of making it big one as as an actress. Out of no where comes Rahul who has a plan to help her achieve her dreams in return of Rs.1 crore. They inevitably fall in love and if you havent already guessed Kamini throws a perfectly good career out of the window for her love. Priyanka is perfect in her role... Of an item girl who as no clue about acting. Sallu Bhai looks old and tired and utterly unconvincing.

Story 2: ( John Abraham - Vidya Balan )

5 minutes into the movie I unsuccessfully try to supress a huge yawn and realise that its gonna be a looong movie. Suddenly you have the stunning Vidya Balan on screen and get a feeling that the movie wont be so bad after all.. In the next 15 min she meets with an accident and all your hopes are dashed.. Vidya suffers from temporary memory loss and John over the entire course of the movie tries all he can to make her remember again.. By some miracle she doesn get back her memory (even after meeting with a second accident) The director really had me there. Nevertheless the story is stretched beyond the point of tolerance..

Story 3: ( Akshaye Khanna - Ayesha Takia )

Easily the most convincing of the 6 angles.. Until the climax ofcourse where the hero has to stop the wedding.. Akshaye comes out with another great performance and his comic timing deserves mention.. Especially towards the end where he tries to win Ayesha back.. If you were wondering why the 0.5 rating you kno now.. Ayesha looks like a million bucks... errr... million pounds... And im not talking currency!!

Story 4: ( Govinda - Shannon Esrechowitz )

The whole desi baabu angrezee mem thing is totally uncalled for but now that you have cast them you have to do something right?? So the director gives us this. Govinda is a cabbie looking for his dream girl when Shannon comes to India lookin for her Desi NRI boyfriend who is out to marry an indian girl of his parents choice. The inevitable happens for the second time in the movie and the couple falls in love. The climax is pretty interesting tho with Govinda coming out with a good performance..

Story 5: ( Anil Kapoor - Juhi Chawla - Anjana Sukhani )

Anil is married to Juhi (who looks in great shape even after all these years) and they have 2 kids, also he has a high paying job with a media company in London. The inevitable happens for the third time when he bumps into Anjali, a young seductive single woman who believes in getting what she wants.. And she wants him.. Anil comes out with a good performance but Anjali steals the show leaving the men ogling at her seductive body and giving em enough fantasies to last a week. No wonder the toilets were a lil more crowded than usual during the interval..

Story 6: ( Isha Koppikar - Sohail Khan )

Its still a mystery why this couple was cast..

All in all the movie is badly made and the stories are very loosely (deliberately) tied. No one knows how Salman lands up at the wedding in the climax and how Priyanka follows him.. Clearly a lame attempt to have the entire star cast in the sme scene.. The climax itself starts more than a hour before the movie ends because there have to be 6 different climaxes which totally defeats the purpose of a climax.. Another scene in which Priyanka and Anil land up at the bar in the middle of the night and look to sort out their life by talking to each other is totally hilarious (given that they hardly know each other). The music is not worth writing about.. Babuji Dheere chalne looks perfect tho.. Anjali does what she does best.. Leaves the men and the lesbians drooling.. Shankar Eshaan n Loy hav disappointed big time..

Could have been a lot lot better.. But then could have been a lot worse... I suggest you watch this movie if you have money and time to waste and if you have a really bad taste in movies.. Naa... not reason enuf.. Wait a min.. YOu shouldn even watch it if someone is treating you... Now if someone is paying you... You might give it a second thought.. Else Pokkiri, Aalwaar or Taamirabharani are definitely better options..

FMS

I was in Bangalore yesterday. To write an exam, something which has proved to be reaaaaly expensive. All thanks to Ashu for getting me into the mess (And getting out very smartly herself not to mention that, Ive always tol dat she's very smart). I mean, 6 months of savings all gone in one night.. Swhhosh!! Jus like dat.. Well Ashu is not to completely to blame for that. I blame it on Saddam's hanging.. On George fuckin W Bush.. Yeaa.. Had it not been for the hanging there wouldn have been riots in the city and had there not been riots i wouldn have had to take refuge at the B11 pub (Im peace loving person and totally condemn violence and the pub was the only nearby place i could think of where i would be safe).

Anyway lets talk bout the exam itself.. I like going to these competitive exams.. Haven written any of em until yesterday but have accompanied my friends on various occasions.. The crowd fools you into thinking that its some fashion show.. Yest was no different.. Everyone was nicely dressed and most of the girls were good looking.. Its Bangalore after all.. I thought I was pretty decently dressed myself.. Until few of the girls started asking me directions mistaking me for the watchman.. Man, its hard to keep up with the so-called "hip" crowd.

The exam hall was pretty decent.. Airy.. with the view of a Cricket match going on at the ground and some 100 odd people screaming their lungs out blissfully unaware of the fact that some people were actually trying to write an exam.. I had a doubt that i might get distracted..And when that hottie chick came and sat next to me (on the same bench) all my doubts were confirmed.. Hmmm.. I thought screw the exam, maybe somethin else may come out of this.. Like a date or something.. I got my hopes all high when she smiled at me after the exam but then quickly realised that she was trying hard not to laugh looking at my nearly blank answer sheet.. So much for asking her out!!!

That was the first time that I actually took my eyes off her n checked out her answer sheet.. DAMN had i copied from her paper I was sure to clear the test.. Anyway wats done is done.. Time to go and keep my date.... With Bibhash.. Had a decent evening after that.. Thank GOd he had a bike and Thank God we din go to MG road and get run over by a million other job less people walking the streets..

All in all its been a kinda crappy day.. NOthing new bout that.. Oh I totally forgot to mention that my bus broke down in the middle of the night n we had to wait 2 hrs in the freezing cold with some thousand odd hungry (blood thirsty) mosquitoes for company... The biggest complain I have is that Im back to my beggar days but I guess it was worth it.. Cant say for sure.. Dad tells in his days they jus had 3-4 bucks to spend for an entire week.. Papa... Nothing has changed!!!!

Till next time....

PS: I have not mentioned anythin bout the exam... I hope you have guessed why...

PEacE!!!

The Half naked fakir!!

Strange country we live in.. On one hand we preach "Gandhigiri" and on the other hand ridicule the Mahatma by posting videos of him doing the pole dance.. Maybe "Gandhigiri" itself is ridiculing Gandhi, you never know.. Im not much of a patriot myself but then everyone has something to say about everything so here goes..

Gandhi.. The English called him the half naked fakir.. Well, guess what, the half naked fakir gave a big FU to the English in his own lil amusing way. I personally prefer Bose's style, his was more the "Stunner" and the "RKO" method.. Gandhi on the other hand had a more silent... and deadly.. low blow!! Of course you know wat im talking bout.. Drop down on your knees and... For further reference watch any video of Chyna.. The god(ess) of low blows...

Coming back to this video on YouTube.. Created by some NRI, probably watched by few of his friends who might or might not have had a good laugh out of it.. And then the media intervenes.. In one night millions have seen the video and start rising protests.. True desi ishtyle.. Do we need a reason!! Im not in any way supporting the creator of the video but guys come on.. NOT ANOTHER STRIKE!!!

Mr NRI supposedly apologised if he had hurt anyone's feelings.. Just as you begin to think he's actually sorry for posting the video (not to mention creating it) in comes the next statement.. I aint takin the video off the site!! What the fuck was the sorry for then??? Sorry.. The most used and the least meant word in the dictionary.. I mean, you can hear sorrys all around ya.. How many people actually feel sorry??

I wonder what made him post the video.. Strange sense of humour (ok, dats understandable) publicity (he sure got more than his fair share) or maybe plain boredom (most obvious). Whatevr the reason, being an Indian, maybe it was wrong to do such a thing.. Post a video of Bush instead!!

One of Gandhi's sayings comes to ma mind.. "The world has enough for every man's needs, but not enough for one man's greed" Neat eh!! Bush.. are ya listening...

Peace!!

Go Greg!!

My knowledge of cricket is very limited.. I can put it in 3 words.. Aussies kick butt!! But then we are a cricket crazy nation and if you dont have anything to say about Chappel, Ganguly and Sachin then you are only half a man..

Sachin.. should leave cricket soon.. before cricket leaves him.. Ganguly.. is one helluva lucky prick and should be glad to be back.. After gettin screwed.. first by Greg... then Donna... and then the South Africans ;) (add Nagma in all the blank spaces!!)

Greg.. lets talk a lil bout Greg here (I promise its gonna be lil) He don seem to have done much for the Indian team.. Except makin em play Kho-Kho.. Which would have been great.. Had they been the Indian Kho-Kho team.. Not to mention the Edward De Bono classes.. Now im sure lateral thinking is gonna make great players outta the boys.. Sheesh!!

The only difference I see is that earlier there were many non-performing seniors and now there are non-performing youngsters (read Raina Powar etc etc) After all the "experimenting" we have successfully returned back to the same ol' team that was humiliated by the Aussies in WC '03.. Some improvement!! Hell, even Mozhi managed to clear 12th in this much time...

But then the contribution of Greg has been immense.. The episode with Dada was more dramatic than Mihir's death in Kyon Ki Saans bhi... And which coach do you think would have the balls to show the middle finger to the media.. and after that have the cheek to say that he was jus showing an injured finger!!! By God even Pepsi made some money out f it (Talk bout connection). How could i forget the comments on the politicians.. He should be thrown into a dark room with a bunch of Shiv Sainiks..

Greg seems to be running outta ideas now.. Lets hope the players stop making fools of themselves by "dirtying" foreign dressing rooms and start "playing" for a change.. Till then.. I shall always have somethin else to talk bout...

Raise it High!!!

Happy Birthday!!

Its ma birthday today.. And people been wishing me since last nyte.. "Hpy B'day sammy" "Hpy B'day dude". Actually all that crap is thx to Orkut where your Bday reminder sticks out like a "Pyasi Jawaani" poster on the theater wall.. Hpy B'day.. Hpy New Year.. Been hearin a lot recently.. Whatever’s supposed to be happy about a new year I’ll never guess. I mean, it’s not like one night of beer makes everything better (though it may well SEEM that way).

Talkin of New year 07.. Lets not even talk bout it.. I was presuming that I would end up at "Ol park" listening to the orchestra and wasting 10 bucks on a "Housie" ticket as usual.. But it was not to be.. Was down with a bad fever and cold and sore throat et al and ended up watching Godzilla at home.. Hindi mein.. "Bhago Bhago Godzilla aa raha hai" Scary!! In contrast, Nu yr 06 was great.. The first party i actually went to.. Loads of chicks n al.. Din check out the chicks tho.. I wonder what prompted such inaction.. Anywaz that new yr led to the most fucked up year I have ever had.. Not one thing went my way.. Right from the start.. Some cheer came in the dying moments of the year when i went on to set new drinking records.. Yea right! Doesn seem like something to be prud of, some wud say.. wateva!! Lets jus hope this fucked up new yr leads to somethin better, tho I don see any such signs..

Coming back to today morning.. The cops are hot on my trail.. I push down the pedal and the Mustang roars away to glory.. Im fast approaching the Light house.. I apply the hand brake and the car skids to a halt after a perfect 180 degree spin.. I climb the light house.. Uma Thurman is right on my tail.. I realise its a scene from Kill Bill.. Oops.. I prepare for a "bloody" ending.. She takes out her sword and lashes at me.. Its headed right towards my throat.. I complete a Matrix style jump and move out of the swords path.. Only to find that I have jumped across the railing and staring at the nothingness below.... Im gaining momentum.. This is gonna be a bad ending.. I say to myself " Hey sammy now dat u are fallin down u might as well try flying, it couldn hurt"... SPLAT!!!

****************

<*The author is lying on the bed in a wierd position resembling that of a horse doing Suryanamaskaram, whatevr dat is supp to be*>

MOM: (angry tone) Get up!!! Go take a shower, quick!!!

Me: Maaa... its only 10 o clock..

Mom: ITS 10 O CLOCK!!!

Me: Its my b'day maa...

Mom: ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!

Me: Ma, don u think u shud be waking me up by saying somethin nice.. like Happy B'day for example???

Mom: (givin that lovely smile) Go take a shower first, n join us for breakfast..

Me: Now your talkin....

****************

After half an hour of tryin real hard to get out bed Im finally up.. I switch on the TV.. Some swami is tellin... "Look inside you... Understand yourself" I change the channel.. If i tried to understand myself I'd run away!!! Aussies are clobbering the kiwi's all over the park.. DAMN! I pick up the news paper and turn to the last page as usual.. Now now.. I agree im a "back-side" guy but even newspapers.. Jeez.. Something is definitely wrong.. Anywaz.. The paper says... "Research finds that humans have come from Mars" WTF?? Im a marsian???

****************

And it was supposed to be a "Happy" birthday.. I guess B'days become fun when u get gifts.. If only one of you silly fucks could think beyond plain wishing.. (and get me a present, if u still din get it... Damn!! Im surrounded by idiots :P) Now when was the last time I ever got a Bday gift... hmmmm.... hmmmm... Yea got it.. I was in the 4th std and all my Bro's friends had come over.. I guess it was the best Bday ever.. Got such coool gifts.. A comic book (which i totally luvd) A bunch of chocolates (which got over in no time).. the rest i don rmbr but they were all good.. I rmbr the best one tho.. A HE-MAN pencil box.. It was jus too kewl... It actually went on to destroy all the other "evil" pencil boxes in school....

Bro used to get me some great gifts too.. He s da best chap getting stuff for me when he was earning almost nothin.. Rarely used to get anythin for himself.. Wat lil he used to get, i used to steal :D (Hey stealin from your elder bro is so much fun.. If u haven done it u hv missed one of the best thngs in life) I remember my first (and only) Nike shoes that he gifted me with his first salary of jus 2000 rupees... I flaunted it all over the place... Miss ya Bro..

Gifts have truly grown expensive... Im not much of a gifty gifty person but for the right people its ok I don mind.. But jus look at the response you get.. Last time I spent a small fortune on a bag... All i get is the "Do u have any taste in things you moron" look!! Lets reverse the case now.. I don get a gift but an accusing "Hey i tried ok!!" Like its all my fault!! Dats fine.. dats fine.. Im SO HAPPY that u tried wow im on cloud 9.. ( no pun intended here, jus plain humour ;) ) Jus look at the names i get called.. "The guy with the hopeless clothes" "The drunkard" "That cheapo".. Hello! time u be nice to me.. Im gna get my first sal in a few months time... ;)

My columns always end up so long that nobody actually reads em but then if you have reached this point i congratulate you on achieving a personal milestone of reading crap content.. Its time i went on to waste my Bday doin other insignificant things... and hope that some1 will get me a gift :) C ya folks!!!

CHeerS!!

Aish Bash!!

Hola folks! Its frustrating.. The weekend draws to a close, an uneventful (read boring) weekend if I might say, and you are left to worry about the Monday that lies ahead. Something im sure, that none of you look forward to. But there s not much you can do about it right?? wrong!! You can always get drunk and bunk the next day f skool, college or work as the case may be.. Well.. you dont HAVE to get drunk but its so much fun dat way ;)

I happened to read a small piece some place.. AB jr telling the media.. " Leave my marriage alone.." or some crap like that.. Hey AB wat were you thinking bout anyway?? You jus say that and what do you expect.. VOILA! the paparazzi is off your tail?? I thought you knew better.. Dont you guys think its like asking for more trouble?? Screwing for virginity if I might put it that way....

Its been in the news sometime now.. The impending AB jr n Aish marriage.. They seem to be the Brangelina of Bollywood right now.. Last spotted in Varanasi.. The media was even talking bout Aish's "Kundali". Cant you jus give the guys a break.. You wanna watch Aish go for a movie.. Umarao Jaan.. Oops its no longer in the theaters..

Aish.. Thats the real reason aint it.. Theres a beautiful woman involved, former Miss World, you jus cant leave it alone can ya.. It has NEWS written all over it.. Her affairs, her past, her kundali.. people wanna know everythin.. Its jus girl mania... Unfortunately all men suffer from it...

Aishwariya Rai.. What comes to your mind when you hear the name... Beautiful... Classy... Charming.. Homely... Slut! Why not.. Look at all the men she s been with.. Im pretty sure you could clone the "ideal" actor if science would allow that.. 6 foot plus, Arnold like body (all steroids tho) with an inherent insatiable urge to shoot down animals and run over people and not to mention finally a kind heart that would go out of the way to help Tsunami victims.. Ok that doesn make for an ideal actor but still quite a character that would make...

<* The author is back after a 5 min hiatus after falling down from the chair, rolling on the ground and laughing till his stomach hurt.. It was so much more funny in my head but unfortunately cant use the same language here *>

Aish... surely the most over rated actor of our times.. I wouldn even call her an actor.. I mean, did any of you watch Umarao Jaan.. Gosh! You can find better chemistry between a rock and a log of wood!!! I wonder from where do people actually get the courage to make such a movie, and watch it too...

I heard the Bacchans were worried about the way Aish was portrayed in Dhoom.. Yeaaaa... They should try watchin Umarao Jaan for a change.. Dhoom was a welcome change tho... Aish looked old and starved but somehow seemed hott.. Kajra Re portrayed her in perfect "lukkah" style as Vinod would put it.. But Aish s best till date has to be Shabd in which she really turned up the heat..

Kuch na kaho.. I have to mention this.. Definitely one of the worst movies ever made.. But watched it cause Roshit had to act like such a pest.. Anyhow the cd had too many scratches and by some miracle we missed the ending.. I got the shock of my life when he said he watched the movie over again.. jeeez..

Another thing i heard.. Aish magically happens to destroy the careers of the men she dates.. What men are we talkin here?? Vivek Oberoi?? Now when did Vivek ever have a career??

Yaaaawn... Yea your feelin it too i can understand... Lets jus stop it then... C ya guys soon i cant think ne more... My poor brain has been deprived of alcohol for more than 36 hours now... Time to reset the counter...


CHeers!

S Fuckin MS

Well well well... It's just so hard to find the time to do something when you'd much rather be doing nothing.. Right?? Anywaz its time to give you another column, a quick column, before the mysterious forces of my bed pull me into the nothingness...

Its been quite a bad week with the cold fever n sore throat not showing any signs of receding. The project review was a disaster, almost got kicked out of the HOD's room. Ok Ok! I did get kicked out. Psst psst... lemme share a secret.. Its official now... the old man has definitely lost it.. That lil mockery of a review hardly did anything to dampen my spirits cause I had jus the previous night acquired a copy of John Cena's "The Marine" and couldn wait to get home and watch it. And maybe even write a review. But some asshole has flicked the dvd and the hunt is on since then..

Today was not all that bad. Had just one hour of college and 2 hot puris and a rava roast later I could finally settle down in my dark room and enjoy an amazing afternoons sleep. But wait... Sounds too good to be true right.. Just as i was about to fall into a deep slumber the bloody phone went off... A god damn SMS... a Good morning forward from a number i don even know.. Which part of the world are you in, asshole, its 12 noon here n its time to sleep and you have jus spoiled what could have been the best day of a totally fucked up week.. Here I am after an hour of tossing n turning n cursing the jackass who sent me that SMS..

SMS... Now how the fuck is that a breakthrough in technology?? I mean, YOU'RE TYPING MESSAGES instead of talking. This is going backwards, idiots! What's next, rather than call your friend and say "Hey dude, come over" you just release a flock of fucking courier pigeons?? Sheesh!!!

Dont even get me started on em forwarded messages.. The good mornings, the good nights, the i love yous, the you are my best friends... BAH! The adult jokes are not so bad but hey you do not substitute every Tom Dick n Harry with the word Sardar.. Its not funny that way. Last I know Sardar was in a train talkin Tamil.. Jeesus Christ give the poor fella a break! But then these jokes do tend to become funny when der is a Sardar around.. Hehe...

Then there are these SMS freaks or junkies or watevr u like to call them.. A brand of their own.. Idiots! There you are trying to make an important point and there he is, right in front of you totally engrossed in that stupid lil screen replying to some other idiot waiting at the other end causing similar pain to another idiot. Well... i get to call everyone except me an idiot but thats jus cause its my blog and I do what I want HAH! (No personal offences plz)

These SMS freaks are all around you.. Even in your own room!!! They exhibit strange characteristics.. But then im sure you know many of them and I don have to go into the details.. The important point to be noted here is that the stupid cellular phone actually determines various important schedules.. like the sleep schedule for instance.. which in my opinion should be based on more important things like how tired you are and how much sleep you got the previous night rather than by how many people are awake and willing to text message at insane hours of the night!!

SMS often acts like a satisfying lullaby i find.. Its soo easy to sleep off text messagin somebody right??? Well fuck you! Its time you noticed that there are other people trying to sleep around you and the light from your damn mobile and the sound of constant hammering that you impose on your poor keypad is not exactly a lullaby to their ears!!! So much for a good nights sleep..
Now there is one good use of text messagin.. You can safely tell a girl that you love her over sms without risking the imprint of a sandal on your face. But people who propose over sms are a bunch of losers anyway... So much for that idea!!!

Do you remember the last time they announced that you could win a Honda Civic for Rs.2 by bidding on your cell phone.. The people who ended up winning NOTHIN sure do. Bah. There's not even any proof that anyone will win. And hello tunes are a sick joke that rob you of your hard earned balance, lets not get into that.. Im seriously beginning to think that Mukherjee urf Aryan is not such an asshole after all (rotfl)

It really gets on my nerve, the kind of things that people say.. "Damn we get only 100 free messages per day./ how dare they charge us 10p after that. There is seriously no justice on earth" Yea fuck you, why dont you move to another planet THANK YOU. What else to add.. What more can i pile on this already stinking heap.. AH! the pass this on to 10 idiots message.. Thats so much crap that i choose not to discuss it any further..

This has been fun... Truly therapy for me and punishment for you i agree but if you have got this far you might as well leave a comment behind... Or you can text message it to me maybe ;) After all sms is free and the inherent cheapos that we are cant jus have enough of it can we... Hurray to free sms... Thats it for today.. Catch you sometime soon... "Have a nice day" (Mick Foley ishtyle).

CHeers!

E -- Taking a beating

Of course the title doesnt make much sense, yea right, thats cause you are still hung over after the new years booze. Im still recovering from a bad cold (not the result of new years booze) and am proud to present to you my first blog straight from "The Adda" (something like RGV's Factory, though i do truly hope that i will not churn out crap like Shiva n Naach)

Ok back to business.. It was the summer of 93 n i was to witness something that would go on to define countless hours of viewing time on TV, endless hours of fighting for the remote with mom n dad and the daily tussle with my bro on the bed. No! it was not a porn movie. It was what we now proudly call WWE urf World Wrestling Entertainment (WWF then). I have grown up watching Pro-wrestling and of late have been doing a lot of reading on the subject as well. WWE is all about E (entertainment) and of late that has me really worried.

For me wrestling is the best thing to have happened since women started believing men when they said "darling, i love you with all my heat n soul". yea rite! I just love wrestling and have come a long way from thinking that it was a fancy dress competition, to a action movie.. to believing what it truly is.. a sport. I thought that it was real... people said its fake.... now I know... Ladies n gentlemen it doesn get any real than this... The people are real, the injuries are real, the hurt is real and most importantly... the Entertainment is REAL.

Any true wrestling fan would go beserk at the sound of shattering glass and the sight of the single most loved wrestler in all of Pro wrestling history ("The rattlesnake" Stone Cold Steve Austin) If the name doesnt strike a bell dont even bother reading further. Those were the days when Pro Wrestling was at its peak and week in week out millions of viewers tuned in to watch the drama ( and i aint talkin Ekta Kapoor style here) unfold on their telivision sets. Would "The Rock" face HHH, would Austin kick McMohan's ass on live TV, would The Undertaker show up and toss Mankind off the 15 foot steel cage..... It was madness and we all loved it. Love it or hate it i can bet all of us have been fascinated by this sport called Pro wrestling.

Recent happenings at the Pro wrestling stage have me, a true wrestling fan, really worried. The very reason why I have spent so much time watching, studying and loving wrestlin seems to be missing. What i want to say is that the E(entertainment) factor has taken a big beating and we are left with stale story lines, uninteresting characters and a bunch of women who drop their clothes their clothes at the drop of a hat (Ok dats not so bad). But still... its been ages since i have felt the adrenalin rise up on seeing a wrestling match..
The folks up at WWE have begun to give a damn about the fan and day in day out serve us shit that has been told and retold and retold (truly Ekta Kapoor style) The only thing they really care about is making money out of selling John Cena T-shirts.. Lets just take a look at what WWE offers us today...

The demise truly began when WWE was split into two factions.. RAW and Smackdown. RAW.. truly the greatest show to have ever hit primetime.. to emerge out of the greatest Television ratings war ever, a victor.. RAW.. the 2 hour show which now thinks that the fan is a jackass... The whole of 2006 went by and all i could see was John Cena and Edge carrying their feud to untolerable limits. And its not even over yet! The rebirth of DX seemed to bring in some life but I very soon realised that their "funny" jokes are a waste of precious wrestling air time.

Smackdown.. If only i could layeth the smacketh down on Vince's candy ass right now.. Smackdown has been the ignored child of Vince right from the beginning and all it did in 2006 was to serve up a stupid King Booker angle.. with Batista... who hardly got into the ring until December.. Not the forget that they had Ray Mysterio chucked out.. Now what did poor Ray do?? Smackdown also saw the re re return of ageing wrestlers (they seemed to be in shape to pose as Santa Claus this christmas). Did we ever ask for the return of Tatanka, Sgt Slaughter and Jim Duggan?? Hey! they couldn wrestle in their hayday.. What were the folks at Smackdown thinking!!

I thought it was a damn good move by Vince to organise the re birth of ECW (Extreme Championship Wrestling) the BAAP of hardcore wrestling. But then with just 1 hr of airtime it dint make much impact. Belive me its really not worth going into the details. But ECW does have some really good talent (CM Punk) and i hope that 2007 will be a better year for them... If of course they dont go on to screw up things as they usually do.

The only respite came in the form of TNA (Total Nonstop Action, a small wrestling promotion based in Colarado) which i have been following for quite sometime now. They have really bad promotion skills and the production team is worse than a bunch of girl scouts. This is why most viewers tend to ignore this show. Add to that just 1 hr of air time, hindi commentary and 20 min of Ad-time you couldn ask for more reasons to skip the show. But the fact in the matter remains that no matter what, TNA has the best talent on TV and they are really trying hard to make it big. If only Jeff Jarrett (owner of TNA) could stop acting like the jerk that he is, TNA would be going places in 2007.

E.. truly has taken a bad beating. And its the fans who suffer. All in all 2006 has been a crap year for wrestling fans as was 04 and 05 with absolutely no signs of improving in 2007. What else can you expect when white rappers (K-Fed, Britneys ex- husband lol hes more famous that way) get into the ring to wrestle with the reigning Champ.

Having said all this... Am i gonna stop watching wrestling??? the answer is simple... HELL NO!! I just love it too much and no matter how bad it gets I shall continue to be a devoted fan. Cause it jus doesn get any better than this.. I love wrestling and shall continue to love it till my senses are intact...

And there is always hope... I hope.... That some day the lights shall go off... the crowd shall become quiet... The speakers shall scream..... "If ya smellll.............."

Guys.. Jus a warning before I start rambling.. the following content is gonna be full of crap im sure so go ahead only if you are as jobless as me.. I have been "inspired" by great bloggers like Charni, Rush n CVR and I do hope all of you will comment on my writings...

If its gonna be negative comment... I DON NEED IT ;)

Ok guys.. Here goes.. I have finally decided to join a million other people.. The thought did occur to me more than a year and a half ago but somehow I was too busy doing nothing and ended up doing nothin (wateva that means) Who says nothin is impossible anyway, been doing it for years..

A lil intro bout me now.. Samarth is the average guy that you might come across any where.. The bus, the theater err... The BAR! That's more than enough of uninteresting me now its time to see how well I can write with 63.459% blood in my alcohol... oops... Alcohol in ma blood!

Cheers!