Salaam E Ishq: A Tribute to Love

Director: Nikhil Advani

Cast: SRK, Big B and Aish are not there..

Vidya Balan...... Tehzeeb Hussain Raina
John Abraham...... Ashutosh Raina
Govinda...... Raju aka Taxiwala
Shannon Esrechowitz...... Stephanie aka Dreamgirl
Priyanka Chopra...... Kkamini
Salman Khan...... Rahul
Akshaye Khanna...... Shiven Dungarpur
Ayesha Takia...... Gia Bakshi
Sohail Khan...... Ramdayal
Isha Koppikar...... Phoolwati
Anil Kapoor...... Vinay Malhotra
Juhi Chawla...... Seema Bakshi Malhotra
Anjana Sukhani...... Anjali
(You asked for it!!!)

Running Time: 6 hrs and 45 min (intermission excluded)

Rating: 0.5/5


6 stories.. 12 characters.. Sounds familiar?? This desi adaptation of Love Actually "actually" puts you to sleep.. Several times..

You cant help but admire Nikhil's guts as to how he set out to make such a movie. At the end of the gruelling 6hrs 45min you end up surprised... that you're still alive and that the movie is actually over.. Lets take a look at the six stories (in no particular order)

Story 1: (Priyanka Chopra - Salman Khan)

Kamini is the number 1 item girl in Bollywood but dreams of making it big one as as an actress. Out of no where comes Rahul who has a plan to help her achieve her dreams in return of Rs.1 crore. They inevitably fall in love and if you havent already guessed Kamini throws a perfectly good career out of the window for her love. Priyanka is perfect in her role... Of an item girl who as no clue about acting. Sallu Bhai looks old and tired and utterly unconvincing.

Story 2: ( John Abraham - Vidya Balan )

5 minutes into the movie I unsuccessfully try to supress a huge yawn and realise that its gonna be a looong movie. Suddenly you have the stunning Vidya Balan on screen and get a feeling that the movie wont be so bad after all.. In the next 15 min she meets with an accident and all your hopes are dashed.. Vidya suffers from temporary memory loss and John over the entire course of the movie tries all he can to make her remember again.. By some miracle she doesn get back her memory (even after meeting with a second accident) The director really had me there. Nevertheless the story is stretched beyond the point of tolerance..

Story 3: ( Akshaye Khanna - Ayesha Takia )

Easily the most convincing of the 6 angles.. Until the climax ofcourse where the hero has to stop the wedding.. Akshaye comes out with another great performance and his comic timing deserves mention.. Especially towards the end where he tries to win Ayesha back.. If you were wondering why the 0.5 rating you kno now.. Ayesha looks like a million bucks... errr... million pounds... And im not talking currency!!

Story 4: ( Govinda - Shannon Esrechowitz )

The whole desi baabu angrezee mem thing is totally uncalled for but now that you have cast them you have to do something right?? So the director gives us this. Govinda is a cabbie looking for his dream girl when Shannon comes to India lookin for her Desi NRI boyfriend who is out to marry an indian girl of his parents choice. The inevitable happens for the second time in the movie and the couple falls in love. The climax is pretty interesting tho with Govinda coming out with a good performance..

Story 5: ( Anil Kapoor - Juhi Chawla - Anjana Sukhani )

Anil is married to Juhi (who looks in great shape even after all these years) and they have 2 kids, also he has a high paying job with a media company in London. The inevitable happens for the third time when he bumps into Anjali, a young seductive single woman who believes in getting what she wants.. And she wants him.. Anil comes out with a good performance but Anjali steals the show leaving the men ogling at her seductive body and giving em enough fantasies to last a week. No wonder the toilets were a lil more crowded than usual during the interval..

Story 6: ( Isha Koppikar - Sohail Khan )

Its still a mystery why this couple was cast..

All in all the movie is badly made and the stories are very loosely (deliberately) tied. No one knows how Salman lands up at the wedding in the climax and how Priyanka follows him.. Clearly a lame attempt to have the entire star cast in the sme scene.. The climax itself starts more than a hour before the movie ends because there have to be 6 different climaxes which totally defeats the purpose of a climax.. Another scene in which Priyanka and Anil land up at the bar in the middle of the night and look to sort out their life by talking to each other is totally hilarious (given that they hardly know each other). The music is not worth writing about.. Babuji Dheere chalne looks perfect tho.. Anjali does what she does best.. Leaves the men and the lesbians drooling.. Shankar Eshaan n Loy hav disappointed big time..

Could have been a lot lot better.. But then could have been a lot worse... I suggest you watch this movie if you have money and time to waste and if you have a really bad taste in movies.. Naa... not reason enuf.. Wait a min.. YOu shouldn even watch it if someone is treating you... Now if someone is paying you... You might give it a second thought.. Else Pokkiri, Aalwaar or Taamirabharani are definitely better options..